Mine is bigger
by vipper902
Summary: Sango and Kagome overhear the guy's of Inuyasha discussing...who's is bigger. What are they talking about?


Don't ask, ok? I have no idea why I wrote this, I just did. Remember, this is just a stupid little story, so no flames about how they wouldn't be talking to Naraku all right?   
  
~~~~  
  
"Mine is!"  
  
"No, mine is!"  
  
"You both are so silly. It's obviously mine."  
  
"You? A worthless half-breed? Mine is."  
  
"What are you guy's talking about?"  
  
"Mine is bigger. I mean, duh!"  
  
"Yeah whatever."  
  
"Do you even have one?"  
  
"Look who's talking!"  
  
"Have what?"  
  
"Actually, I agree with him. Do you have one?"  
  
"...of course I...why...that's such a stupid question! Of course I have one!"  
  
"Sure you do. Just keep telling yourself that."  
  
"I really do. And it's bigger then yours. And yours. And yours."  
  
"Even if you did have one, which I doubt you do, it's not bigger then mine."  
  
Sango and Kagome, who had been wandering by the lake where the boy's were bathing, stopped dead in their tracks. They'd heard raised voices and come to see what was going on. By the lake was Inuyasha, Miroku, Sesshomaru, Shippo, and for some strange reason Naraku. (Oh my God...) Kagome thought. (What are they talking about?) Sango wondered.  
  
"It doesn't matter if he has one," Inuyasha said confidently. "Mine is still bigger."  
  
Naraku snorted. "You wish!"  
  
"I do have one!" Miroku yelled. "I've got one and it's huge."  
  
Sango blushed a crimson color. Kagome looked over at Shippo, who was standing around just as confused as the two girls.  
  
"What do you think..." the miko began.  
  
"Shh!" Sango quickly shushed her.  
  
"Mine is bigger," Sesshomaru insisted. "You should know it is. I mean, you've all seen it."  
  
"I haven't," Naraku muttered a bit angrily, pouting slightly.   
  
Inuyasha snickered. "Well, you've seen mine, and that will make up for his, the houshis, and yours."  
  
Both girls were flushing deep crimson colors. (Seen what? Oh my gosh...what are they talking about?), both girls wondered. Shippo scratched his head.  
  
"What are you guy's talking about?" he questioned the adults again.  
  
"Hey. I don't think he has one either," Miroku said, pointing to Naraku.  
  
Naraku gasped. "So are you admitting you don't have on then?"  
  
Sesshomaru shook his head, sighing heavily. "Your a priest anyway. What does it matter if you have one or not? It's not as if your ever going to use it."  
  
"I am to! Well...maybe if Inuyasha stops-"  
  
"It's bigger then yours. I am evil incarnate for crying out loud!"  
  
"Evil incarnate?" Sesshomaru scoffed. "Whatever. It's probably huge."  
  
"Yeah, if you get a microscope," Inuyasha finished.  
  
"Oh! High five!" Sesshomaru said. The two brothers then high fived each other. Naraku and Miroku scowled at them.  
  
"I'VE GOT ONE!" they both yelled.  
  
"Sure..."  
  
"...whatever."  
  
"I DO!"  
  
"It doesn't matter! Mine is bigger ok?" Inuyasha said.  
  
"Well I've got two," Sesshomaru said.   
  
Kagome and Sango both immediately fainted.  
  
"I HAVE ONE!" Naraku and Miroku screamed yet again.  
  
"DO NOT!" the two brothers said.  
  
"YES-HUH!"  
  
"NU-UH!"  
  
"YES-HUH!"  
  
"NU-UH!"  
  
"YES-HUH!"  
  
"NU-UH!"  
  
"YES-HUH!"  
  
"NU-UH!"  
  
Sango and Kagome wake up.  
  
"YES-HUH!"  
  
"NU-UH!"  
  
"YES-HUH!"  
  
"NU-UH!"  
  
"Well, if yours is really so big then prove it," Sesshomaru said, grinning.  
  
"Yeah," Inuyasha agreed.  
  
"I don't have to prove anything to you," Naraku told them.   
  
"Aww..." the Lord said, stalking over to him. "Come on, Nary-chan. You show me yours, I'll show you mine," he grinned.  
  
Naraku glared at him. "Do NOT call me Nary-chan. It's offensive."  
  
"That's not what you said last night," Sesshomaru replied, causing the other two men to laugh and Kagome and Sango to faint once again.   
  
"Speaking of last night, how's your mom?" Naraku asked. "Tell her I'll be over later. Or will she be waiting out on the corner as always?"  
  
"Ohh...burn..." Inuyasha and Miroku said.  
  
"Hey!" the hanyou growled. "What did you say about my mama?"  
  
"Um...Inuyasha..."  
  
"I am going to rip your head off!"  
  
"...Inuyasha..."  
  
"I can't believe you would say that about my mama!"  
  
"STUPID!" Sesshomaru and Miroku cried, bopping the hanyou on the head.  
  
"We have the same father, not the same mother!"  
  
"Huh? Oh yeah. I forgot about that."  
  
"God you are so stupid," Miroku muttered.  
  
"Whatever. At least I've got a-"  
  
"I have one and I'll prove it!"  
  
"Well, go on then," Sesshomaru said, smirking as he watched the houshi.  
  
"I'm a monk not a priest."  
  
"Huh?" they all questioned.  
  
He sighed. "Fluffy called me a priest. I'm a monk. So I can still use it and I intend to soon."  
  
Sango and Kagome wake up yet again.  
  
"You mean, you haven't already?" Naraku asked smirking.  
  
The houshi remained silent. "I bet you haven't either. We all know you. You send other's to the dirty work while you just hang around and watch for your own twisted amusement!"  
  
"I've used it!"  
  
"You have?" Inuyasha asked. Naraku nodded.  
  
Sesshomaru sighed. He then walked over to the monk. "Well, if I were you, I would not allow that worthless half-breed, either of them," he said, begging to receive cold glares from both Inuyasha and Naraku. "To teach you how to use it. Since the only thing they do with there's is wave it around, not knowing what in the hell their doing."  
  
"Hey!" they both yelled.  
  
"Since I am the most experienced, I shall teach you how to properly use one."  
  
Just as Sango was once again about to faint, Kagome caught her.   
  
"You'd do that?" Miroku asked, his eyes bright.  
  
"Of course," Sesshomaru said. "Since I do have the biggest, and am the best with it."  
  
"Feh," Inuyasha said. "I don't care if you've got two. Mine is still bigger."  
  
"It only gets all big when Kagome is around," Naraku said.  
  
"Nu-uh!" Inuyasha yelled. "It's gotten big when she's not around."  
  
Sango caught Kagome before she fell to the ground.   
  
"And besides," he murmured. "It doesn't matter how big it is, or if I even have one. I have to do all the work."  
  
"Will you show me how to use it?" Miroku asked, not paying much attention to the other hanyous.  
  
"Yep," Sesshomaru said. "Inuyasha, come here."  
  
"Wwwhhhyyy?" he whined.  
  
"Because, I need to use you to show Miroku how it is done properly."  
  
The hanyou grinned. "So I assume you'll just lie down on the ground and let me show him how it's done?"  
  
"As if."  
  
"What are you guy's going to do?" questioned a curious Shippo.  
  
"Watch and learn," Naraku said.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Sango and Kagome screamed as they jumped out from behind the bushes. The four men and the younger kit looked down at the two women on the ground.  
  
"What are you doing?" Naraku asked.  
  
"Us? What are you doing?!" Sango screeched. Kagome grabbed Shippo, placing her hand around his eyes.   
  
"Don't look Shippo! Shield your eyes!"  
  
The men exchanged confused glances.   
  
"I can't believe you guy's were going to do...that in front of Shippo!" Sango said.  
  
"Inuyasha..." Kagome said, tears in her eyes. "Why did you say those things?"  
  
Inuyasha sighed. "I didn't mean it," he said. "I don't always do all the work. In fact, Kagome does a lot of it on her own."  
  
Kagomes face went a bright red. "Inuyasha!" she screamed.  
  
"What are they talking about?" Shippo asked for the umpteenth time.  
  
"YOUR TOO YOUNG TO KNOW!" Sango and Kagome said.  
  
"Swords," the four men answered.  
  
Both women looked at them, dropping their jaws. "Huh?"  
  
"S-w-o-r-d-s. You know like, weapons. Things you use to kill people with," Naraku said, rolling his eyes.  
  
Kagome and Sango just stared at them.  
  
"Yeah, and mine is bigger," Inuyasha boasted. "And I didn't meant all that, Kagome. When Tetsusaiga transforms, it's usually because I'm protecting you. And I don't do all the work. You and your arrows have gotten us out of plenty."  
  
"Your is not bigger," Sesshomaru said. "Mine are."  
  
"...you have two..." Kagome muttered.  
  
Sesshomaru turned to her. "Yeah. And since I've got two, their bigger!"  
  
"Mine is," Miroku said.  
  
"Do you even have one?" Sango questioned absently.  
  
"YES!" he yelled. "Why does everyone ask me that? Of course I have a sword. I'm a guy. In the warring states era of Japan. Der! And Sesshomaru was just going to teach me how to use it. Before you two fell in."  
  
"What were you the two of you doing? Why are you holding Shippo like that? I know he's young, but he's seen more violence then a couple of boys playing with swords," Naraku said.  
  
"What did you think we were talking about?" Inuyasha asked.  
  
Both Kagome and Sango looked away, quite embarrassed. "Come on Shippo," Kagome said. The two woman scampered quickly out of the clearing.   
  
The men shrugged.  
  
"I don't know what being a monk would have to do with using a sword," Miroku said to Naraku. "I mean, I know I have the wind tunnel, but I do have a sword."  
  
"You should use it against the hell wasps," Naraku suggested.  
  
"I would," he said sighing. "But Inuyasha always tells me he'll handle it. He's just worried about Kagome."  
  
"They make such a cute couple," Naraku squealed.  
  
"Yeah. So do you and, what's her name?"  
  
"Um...I forget..."  
  
"Are you paying attention Miroku?" Sesshomaru asked. "I've got a hot date tonight, and I would rather not go over it with you children again."  
  
"Hey guys..."  
  
"Children?" Naraku asked. "What happened to Nary-chan?" he questioned smirking.  
  
"Oh come on, you know you love me," Sesshomaru said. "Besides, I heard what's her face calling you that last night."  
  
"So that's how you figured it out."  
  
"...guys..."  
  
"You guys. I think I love Sango."  
  
"That's great Miroku!" Naraku said. "Now you can have a kid, and I can curse him, and then he can have a kid, and I can curse him..."  
  
"You are way to easily excited," Sesshomaru said, shaking his head.  
  
"...um...guys..."  
  
"What is it Inuyasha?" Miroku asked.  
  
"What?" the other three asked.  
  
Inuyasha starred at them, making odd movements with his hands.   
  
"Huh?" Miroku asked.  
  
"I think it's trying to communicate with us," Naraku said.  
  
"Come on Lassie. Come on girl. Is Timmy stuck in the well again?" Sesshomaru asked.  
  
Inuyasha continued flailing his arms around.  
  
"Ohh..." Naraku said finally.  
  
"Wha...ohhhh..." Miroku said.  
  
All looked at Sesshomaru.  
  
"I don't need to say ohh," he declared. "I got it."  
  
Silence.  
  
"EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
~~~  
  
Naraku- That was wrong.  
  
Sesshy- Very wrong.  
  
Inu- Very wrong and inappropriate.  
  
Miroku- I have a sword? COOL!  
  
Sesshy- And people say I'M to easily excited. ooo look, STRING! HURRAY!!!!  
  
Naraku- Do you think that maybe we should put him on medication or something?  
  
Inu- I don't know. Thier insane.  
  
Miroku & Sesshy- we're going to sing the review song now! *in a sing song voice*   
  
R-E-V-I-E-W!   
  
REVIEW! REVIEW!  
  
OH, YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO!  
  
CLICK THE PRETTY BUTTON!  
  
SHOUT OUT TO YOUR BISHOUNENS!  
  
REVIEW! REVIEW!  
  
OH, WE'LL ALWAYS LOVE YOU!  
  
IF YOU SAY THAT WE CAUSED LAUGHTER  
  
SHE WON'T WRITE ANOTHER CHAPTER!  
  
REVIEW! REVIEW!  
  
OH YEAH, YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO!  
  
Inu- Make. It. Stop.  
  
Naraku- *cowering in a corner* It's going to go away...it's going to go away... 


End file.
